"i see it all the time, people take these jobs they don't want and then you're stuck in the credit card department forever"--lisa (my cousin)
well, well
so i tried to update a few days ago, but after typing, blogger very nicely erased my entire post...how awesome..i don't know if it had anything super in it..
i had been reading several new york alums' blogs and it seems to be that i was not the only one feeling as if this christmas just didn't really feel like christmas..could it be that being in new york has tainted us? i would hope not...it is true to me though, that it was not only christmas, but thanksgiving and new years which didn't feel very "holiday-ish" or even "celebratory"...
of course i spent christmas driving around all over texas trying to visit everyone and their brother, with my andy :)..first ft. worth, then austin, then san antonio, austin, tyler and back to austin..it was no wonder i decided against houston and san antonio as places to be new years worthy and instead stay in austin...takin' it easy, nothing quite like drinking some wine and smoking a cigar with your man to ring in the new year ;)
ok, so it's 2005 now...i wish i could say i have some really serious new years resolutions, but the truth is, and here is the truth, is that this whole graduation, living with my parents, not having a job right out of college thing is starting to depress me, and i dont' think it JUST started..i think i felt like this for awhile and the fact that now all the holidays are over and other people have jobs and others are going back to school and my playtime is over, now i'm alone...it's like...wow i feel really pathetic...and really just sad...i don't want to just sit in this depressed state, but i feel so discouraged everytime i send out resumes...like what's wrong with it? was it the way it's formatted, did i say somethin wrong in my cover letter? my ideal situation would be that i would find a job between now and before i go skiing, but that's only like 2 weeks...i just feel so idle and depressed and sad, and i think, well, yeah sure, my mom's boss wants to give me my job back, but it sUCKED working there, it wasn't worth it...i find myself looking for a part-time $14+/hr job here in lakeway to tie me over until i find a real job but then i dont want to do that because then i feel like i'll just stay sucked into that one job and becasue i'm making money i won't want to leave...
so my new plan is to get my MBA becasue i'd 1. be more wanted in the job market 2. make tons more money (and with this whole i don't really want kids thing, i could live quite lavishly, me, my andy and our 2 dogs with an MBA salary) and 3. i don't know...just i don't know...like right now, the pressure is what i'm putting on myself, but it's making me really sad and making me feel like a complete failure....i find myself thinking about what i can do to pass the time and i'm about to use my graduation money to start a gold's gym account and hire a personal trainer...becasue if i have a toned body, THEN i'll feel better about myself? ...i feel really bipolar right now and that's not cool at all...
i feel not so fun...
blah
sorry to start the new year's blog off on such a bummed start...but this is my story of my real world life...so i guess depression comes with it...suck
so i tried to update a few days ago, but after typing, blogger very nicely erased my entire post...how awesome..i don't know if it had anything super in it..
i had been reading several new york alums' blogs and it seems to be that i was not the only one feeling as if this christmas just didn't really feel like christmas..could it be that being in new york has tainted us? i would hope not...it is true to me though, that it was not only christmas, but thanksgiving and new years which didn't feel very "holiday-ish" or even "celebratory"...
of course i spent christmas driving around all over texas trying to visit everyone and their brother, with my andy :)..first ft. worth, then austin, then san antonio, austin, tyler and back to austin..it was no wonder i decided against houston and san antonio as places to be new years worthy and instead stay in austin...takin' it easy, nothing quite like drinking some wine and smoking a cigar with your man to ring in the new year ;)
ok, so it's 2005 now...i wish i could say i have some really serious new years resolutions, but the truth is, and here is the truth, is that this whole graduation, living with my parents, not having a job right out of college thing is starting to depress me, and i dont' think it JUST started..i think i felt like this for awhile and the fact that now all the holidays are over and other people have jobs and others are going back to school and my playtime is over, now i'm alone...it's like...wow i feel really pathetic...and really just sad...i don't want to just sit in this depressed state, but i feel so discouraged everytime i send out resumes...like what's wrong with it? was it the way it's formatted, did i say somethin wrong in my cover letter? my ideal situation would be that i would find a job between now and before i go skiing, but that's only like 2 weeks...i just feel so idle and depressed and sad, and i think, well, yeah sure, my mom's boss wants to give me my job back, but it sUCKED working there, it wasn't worth it...i find myself looking for a part-time $14+/hr job here in lakeway to tie me over until i find a real job but then i dont want to do that because then i feel like i'll just stay sucked into that one job and becasue i'm making money i won't want to leave...
so my new plan is to get my MBA becasue i'd 1. be more wanted in the job market 2. make tons more money (and with this whole i don't really want kids thing, i could live quite lavishly, me, my andy and our 2 dogs with an MBA salary) and 3. i don't know...just i don't know...like right now, the pressure is what i'm putting on myself, but it's making me really sad and making me feel like a complete failure....i find myself thinking about what i can do to pass the time and i'm about to use my graduation money to start a gold's gym account and hire a personal trainer...becasue if i have a toned body, THEN i'll feel better about myself? ...i feel really bipolar right now and that's not cool at all...
i feel not so fun...
blah
sorry to start the new year's blog off on such a bummed start...but this is my story of my real world life...so i guess depression comes with it...suck
